There's a thin line separating a fool from a moron...
...on one end of the line lies the fool and on the other, the moron.
Snap the line and you don't know who's who?
Thats the million dollar question, my pretty polly.
Let us to see who the pretty groom is?
I'll be damned!
Is it not Mr. Fool himself?!
Ya ya!
To become a true moron you've to at least be married...
and by the look of things, you're not getting married in a hurry.
Ya ya!
Yes Sir! There's been a change in the schedule.
The half-caste's abducting your bride even as we chat.
Brother Omi?!
Ya ya!
"Hail Friendship"! As a friend, it was my duty to warn you.
Grab that moped and run like the wind.
If you've got what it takes, go save Dolly.
Now scurry! Your wedding march past is over!
Ya ya!
Aren't you a charming one?
Ya! Right... Liar.
If I lie, then I make love to a filthy bitch
and if not, then that bitch is your mother!
Your wedding march is history!
The marriage party's stopping here!
Grab the phones darling!
What the hell could've held them up?!
Can't even get through the bloody phones!
Omi Shukla has abducted Dolly!
Wait! Not the red one, hit the green.
- Screw you! - Now what?
Come on Langda...
be a sport!
What happened, big brother? Forgot your tools at home or what!
Your mother's borrowed them... swine! Stop screwing around now.
I'm sick of your bloody red, blue, yellow!
Decide your colour once and for all...
then sit back and watch daddy play!
Not bad, champ! Go flick the yellow one.
Ringa Ringa Roses! Pocket full of poses!
Bingo! Go stuff yourself... loser.
When it comes to marbles, No one screws with Langda Tyagi...
Anyone got the guts to doubt that?
Where is Omi?
Where the hell is he?
You Anglo shit!
Even dogs show more character... Omi!
Was my daughter the only girl left in the province?
Actually, it's my fault...
had forgotten that you are a half caste.
That bloody slave girl had borne you... right?
Bloody bastard!
You're right as always sir...
Wish you knew that your own daughter's heart beats for this half caste.
Bastard!
Bhaisaab's calling... May I?
Regards Bhaisaab, that's right...
They here... both of them.
Lawyer sir?
He's threatening to blow Brother Omi's brains out.
One shot and... finito!
Ya Bhaisaab... One sec!
So, what's going on over there?!
Lawyer sir?
Omi?
This silence is getting boring friends.
Someone's got to speak up.
Big brother, this sonuvabitch abducted my daughter on her wedding day.
So I heard. Now let me update you...
Your prime eyewitness Jalaluddin has returned from Muscat!
The case is slated to be heard next week...
So do postpone your shootout for tonight...
Or meet him up in Court next week.
That will be all dears. Have a good day.
The news is confirmed Bhaisaab...
Indore Singh had gone to Muscat himself.
And now Surendra Captain has become his General.
They are hiding him behind the brick kiln in Pilakhwa.
Why in the world is Indore Singh rushing to his grave?
Whenever a bitch goes down to pee, every dog thinks its his lucky day.
All Visitors are warned that anybody carrying any kind of...
alcohol, cigarettes, narcotics etc will be found punishable by law.
Any kind of weapon, matchboxes or mobile sim cards is also prohibited,
strict action will be taken against...
Psst... I happen to be carrying all of the above.
What are you gonna do? - Liar!
Get lost sonuvabitch... stamp this!
Have known Omkara since his childhood...
but never heard anything about him being a womanizer.
You've even known Dolly since she was a toddler.
You think she would've eloped with this gangster willingly.
Our home fire's been hushed since yesterday...
the whole community's slandering us...
how can you expect me to hand over my precious jewel to that monster?!
He's a damned half caste at that!
I have no more will to live... I need justice, Bhaisaab!
Brother Omi! Please come.
If I've done this out of lust. Call me a eunuch.
If his daughter says I'm a liar, Omkara will cut his tongue off...
and shine Lawyer sir's shoes with it for the rest of his life!
Don't be scared... speak your mind.
Has anyone... and I mean anyone, forced you into any kind of submission?
I've always followed the tune of my heart.
Papa... please forgive me.
I can't live without Omkara.
"Don't trust what your eyes say. Your eyes will betray you."
God knows how it all began... how I lost my heart to Omkara.
I was in love... but it was too late.
I remember feeling like a blind bird plunging down an empty well...
everything seemed hopeless...
And then I decided I'll end my wretched life...
But then there was no point to it,
When who I was dying for didn't even know why.
Rajju will marry me dead.
Since you won't in this lifetime, let me confess...
I'm yours and yours only.
Put me down in your list of slain.
Let bygones be bygones.
Both of you should now seek blessings from the elders.
Now don't you dare get married before I'm released.
See, I'm not averse to this prison life.
But if that blasted evidence reaches court...
the Parliament will annul my election nomination.
And what if they don't see reason?
Well then... go ahead.
General... may you never forget the two faced monster a woman can be!
She who can dupe her own father, will never be anyone's to claim.
Fill in whatever amount you want.
Bloody hell! Got away!
Kichlu... me thinks we're not cut out for these over the table deals.
Don't rush to your grave Captain. Quote your price.
The Parliament seat.
The one Indore sir's been slogging his ass off for the last five years.
Even if he polishes it for the next five lives,
he won't be able to defeat Bhaisaab.
Truth be said...
but only if Tewari Bhaisaab contests in the first place.
It was a small nick... but its gonna bleed as hell.
Got it?
Omi... Come break bread with us.
Have got special homemade food.
Holy cow!
Bloody hell!
How many will you smash, Captain?
Our guys are stationed outside all TV channels.
Don't miss the climax.
Sorry Captain sir! But you should teach Brother Indore a thing or two.
Bastard's not even wearing a condom.
Who is this chick by the way?
Indore bro...
...pray which meeting did you attend last night?
Hmm... the fund raising one or the skirt raising one?
Now watch the parliament on the bloody TV for the rest of your life.
Omi brother... hats off to you.
I concede. You are the biggest General in the province.
'Even your pee can flush out all your foes'
But before leaving, I have a poser for you...
Kichlu and I have had a bet... for 100 bucks.
This one says that you'll marry Raghunath's lass for sure...
and I feel that Omi's still got his wits about him...
he just wants to wham bang her... right?
I win that 100 bucks, sonuvabitch.
Grandma! Go tell the village that Captain's lost his bet.
Take your 100 bucks from Captain.
Let go, Omi!
Next time round, bet on horses...
not tigers.
"The drums salute the greatest..."
"the greatest warrior of them all... Omkara!"
The battle is over The tables are turned
The righteous is out of prison And the enemy is burnt
As per the high Command's wishes...
...I will be contesting for a parliament seat this year.
I hereby appoint youth leader Omkara Shukla...
...as my successor in the local assembly
And Bhaisaab, who will replace Omkara?
Who will be the new General of the party?
Hello?
Can't hear a word... Hello?
Bhaisaab? - What was the question?
Think its disconnected!
Brother Langda! Brother Langda!
Where are your glorious feet?
They walked off to buy some slippers... Moron!
Let me kiss them once. Please just once!
Don't hold me back! - Buzz off! You scum!
My my! The new General is a tyrant!
What?!
Hail General Langda! Hail General Langda!
Kesu Firangi!
All the college students are under his command.
The elections will be a cakewalk for us.
And Langda?
He's like a brother. He'll understand.
Hail Kesu Firangi! Hail Kesu Firangi!
Run Golu! They're here!
Move out of the way!
Not bad at all! May you be protected from all evil...
Talk about a match made in heaven... like milk in a pot of coal.
Sorry Omi bro! My tongue slipped...
More like a candy in a crow's mouth!
OK OK! I give up!
Like sandal shining in the darkest night!
Please brother! I promise... no more jokes!
Please let me go.
Like a magic flute in the hands of the Dark lord.
What're you staring at, Grandma? - Staring at your luck!
How in the world did you get such a fair girl in these parts?!
I said good morning!
Bro... Rajju's come to visit.
Let them in... but grab their weapons.
Righto.
Get going.
You wait.
When will the priest be here, sis?
My high priestess, this is an inauspicious month.
Our bride-to-be will have to be more patient.
Not bad at all! That smells good!
You turned out to be quite some cook...
what's the secret?
My grandma's formula...
She told me that the way to a man's heart is through his belly.
What bull! My Grandma
always told to me to aim a bit lower.
Papa's sent this little gesture for the elections.
But that's a long way off...
Ya ya! It's me who's stayed away too long!
Brother Omi! I had nothing to do with that marriage fiasco.
If I'd had any inkling, I'd have peed over the holy fires myself.
I'll take your leave then.
Wait! It'll be dark by the time you reach.
Stay back. We're celebrating Golu's birthday tomorrow.
Golu's happy birthday!
How many years old will the little man be?
Er... Golu?
Must be eight... or is it nine?
O...! Listen!
Just taste this once...
Sweet enough?
Just twirl your finger once more in the pan, it'll be perfect.
My Romeo! Mix some water in your booze at least.
Here... have a swig.
My dear friend... I gave you one chance...
But alas... you don't have the guts...
I do dammit...!
That blasted moped got a puncture that day, else I would have shown you guys.
I can lay down my life for Dolly... understood?
That'll be the day! Stop drinking now...
I'm serious... I can give up my life for her!
Give the bottle first!
I'm not joking... really!
I'll jump into the river! - Ya ya!
I'll really jump!
No one's holding you back... sissy!
Go jump!
'Dolly' my ass!
Jump... chicken shit!
Bloody hell! You don't know how to swim?!
What the...!
What do you have to say now... brother!
It's not a question of guts...
Its a question of business...
if I run amok, my father's booze contracts will be snatched.
And you, Brother sir Langda?! Who are you to talk about nerve?
What guts did you display when Omi publicly chose Kesu as his successor?
For the last 15 years,
you've been faithfully serving that half caste on a leg and a half...
Hail Langda General! Hail General Langda!
That pretender Kesu comes out of nowhere...
and coolly snatches the bone out of your mouth.
Where did your guts go walking then?!
Company garden?
You know Rajju, you are finally making some sense.
Both of us are damned to lead donkey's lives!
God bless your filthy soul...!
Good lady!
Langda! Help me!
Help me please!
Think I've caught the chill. The water was freezing.
Look at it this way... now you know how to swim.
Now I'll teach you how to fly...
like pigeons in the sky.
Bye Bye baby bird...
fly away with Dolly.
Far far away! To a galaxy someday.
Eh? Eh? Eh?
Buzz off... liar!
If I lie, then I make love to a filthy bitch...
and if not, then that bitch is your mother.
And isn't it Mr. Busybody himself?
Lower your eyes while addressing the new General.
But of course... my adorable bastard!
I'll slice your tongue out.
In your dreams! Won't even let you lick it.
Hey Billo Chamanbahar...
You know why I love you Billo baby?
Why?
Cos' you're the biggest tease in the world.
And you know why I'm crazy about you?
Hmm?
Cos' you say this to every third girl you meet... bloody lech!
You still haven't answered. - What?
Will you marry me?
Let go... creep!
This house hadn't had an heir for years.
Then Pa fell in love and I was born.
My mother belonged to a lower caste... that's why they call me a half caste.
A crescent, though half, is still called a moon.
Ouch!
What happened?
My back caught a catch this morning.
What is our new General up to? Seems to have vanished.
He's at his usual score... composing duets inside.
General sir! Grace us with some time please.
Do not forget your subjects in such a hurry.
Perch your behind please.
What brother Langda?! Not having any fun?
What should your honour be served with? - No thanks. My tea's on its way.
Tea?! No hard stuff for our lord?
That's one thing I can't handle, bro.
Uh oh...!
Mental...
Run and get a bottle of milk for our General here.
And make sure its one of those nippled ones!
Here... put this on.
Whose jewel is this?
It's not a jewel... its our family heirloom.
Its adorned the brides of this house down the ages.
Keep it. It's yours from today.
Treasure it with care!
Put it on and show me first.
First shut your eyes.
Could we have that 'beedi' number please?
There's a slight problem with that request.
I've forgotten the words to that song...
We'd love to be of help.
"No quilt in sight... this cold breeze arouses the hell out of me."
"It's best to share somebody's quilt."
"Go borrow heat from the next fellow's oven."
"Light your fags with the heat of my bosom..."
"its burning up inside me!"
"Let smoke not slip out of your lips... the world's smoked out already!"
"No crime's been charged... why do I still feel sentenced to death?"
"Haul me to your court one afternoon."
"Handcuff me with my anklets."
"Haul me up in the afternoon"
"Sentence me... punish me severely."
"Light your stoves with the heat of my bosom..."
"its burning up inside me!"
"No knife's sharp enough to match your nibbles."
"The way you leave your teeth marks behind..."
"farmers would forget how to cut their crops"
"Please Billo... would you settle down with a brute like this?"
"Nobody warned me... nobody woke me up."
"Suddenly you come into my quilt..."
"trying to impress me with your clove breath."
"Burn your coals with the heat of my bosom..."
"its burning up inside me!"
"It's best to share somebody's quilt..."
"go borrow heat from the next fellow's oven."
Bastard! I'd asked you not to smoke!
Let go man... you're piss drunk!
Brother Omi...
Is somebody going to bloody own up?
Who the hell started this brawl? Langda?
Let it go Omi bro... We'll sort it in the morning.
Don't rush to your grave... answer the bloody question.
Whose fault was it?
It was booze.
Partly booze... partly my fault!
This poor child had warned me that he can't hold his drink...
I fingered him and he got plastered.
I should be punished... not him!
General! Its neither booze... nor Langda!
It's my fault... for having chosen you as the General!
Stay out of my sight for a few days else I'll skin you alive.
Don't worry. Omi's anger is like camphor.
It'll vanish in no time... eat something.
Not bad!
I've been toiling away at these chappatis...
and nobody cares a shit!
Why are you taking it out on the food? Eat up now!
If your face stays bloated like this the fat chappatis will start blushing.
Not bad at all! That's a rare smile in this weather...
Don't worry... I'll speak to Brother Omi.
"I'll speak to Brother Omi"
And he'll listen to you?! Surely...!
Now Omi's not going to listen to anyone.
There's only one voice of reason that can help...
Dolly's voice.
And if I'm not mistaken, isn't she a bum chum of yours?
We're visiting Bhaisaab over the next 2-3 days... some election work.
By the time we're back, get Dolly in the loop.
Cool?
It's cooler than the coolest!
Now... lets see those molars.
Have you ever fed me... with half this love?
Bugger off!
Don't panic now! I'll be there soon.
Auntyji's worried about my safety.
The C.I. D says that I might be attacked.
She wants me to come to the capital for 2-3 days... till it tides over.
2-3 days?!
In the meantime, we can start fund raising by ourselves... right?
Sounds fine. Then?
Pull the chain son.
Any problem Bhaisaab?
Reverse the train. These gentlemen have to be dropped back.
Sorry?
You heard me!
Golu! When you feel like a glass of juice, what do you do?
I massage Omi Uncle's head!
And Indu, when you want a new sparkler, what do you do?
Heaven only knows! Have to massage half a leg all night!
So your job will be done...
But it's not gonna be for free... What say Kesu sir?!
Whatever her highness demands.
It's a deal then? - Deal.
Now you sing.
Everything else's fine... except its pronounced 'bottom'.
That's what I said-'bottom'.
Fine! Will do! - What now?
Shit! Omi bro's back!
Langda said they'll be back in 2-3 days. I'm screwed now!
Hang on! Lets sort this once and for all.
No way! He'll skin me alive and hang it out to dry!
Wasn't that Kesu?
Leave the poor boy alone now.
Why in the world would he come to see Dolly in your absence?
But it did look like his bike.
Come on bro, Kesu's our own.
Why would he run like a thief on seeing us?
He's in town. I'll just make him speak to you.
Hello Mental! Just pass the phone to Kesu.
I see?
Fine then... text me later.
What happened?
God knows! Sonuvabitch's not starting up.
Not the car... what about Kesu?
Kesu?!
There... its started!
Hey Langda! What's the big secret?
Can't believe that was Kesu...
What in the world could he be up to with Dolly at this hour?
Dolly!
What was Kesu doing here?